Driving Home for Christmasor Not
by CBloom2
Summary: It's that time of year again. A brother waiting... Will he get his greeting card moment? Hope story better than summary. Brotherly love and fluff...it is Christmas after all!
1. Chapter 1

Hey everyone! So Christmas is almost upon us and I'm starting to feel a little sentimental, so I've come up with a bit of a slushy family story. Hope you like it and it doesn't have you reaching for the sick bucket.

As usual I don't own anyone you recognise.

Driving Home for Christmas...or not!

Danny Reagan sat in the bay window of his father's home, silently watching the snow blanketing everything in sight in its soft, icy embrace. It had been snowing on and off for a couple of days, but that day, Christmas Eve, it had been particularly heavy, and was still falling. Danny had managed to finish his shift and make it to the family home before most of the roads had had to be closed. He was now off work until the New Year, which was a novelty for him. He was looking forward to spending some time with his family, whom he could hear laughing and being busy in the kitchen. However, his happiness was tinged with some sadness and disappointment - there was a big presence missing that night...

Suddenly, seemingly from out of nowhere a glass appeared in front of him. He accepted it with a nod of gratitude, "Looks like we might have to stay here tonight Dad," he looked to the older man.

His father smiled affectionately at him, "You know you're always welcome here son. We've got the room...we've got enough food to feed an army...it'll be nice to be together at Christmas..."

Danny took a drink, shaking his head, "We're not all here though are we?" He replied sadly.

"Danny, Jamie would be here if he could be, you know that."

The younger man sighed, "I know, it's just that...I just miss him. You take it for granted that we'll always be together..."

"I know Danny, but this was beyond his control - besides, he did call."

"Yeah, he did, a couple of hours ago. He'd just landed at the airport, but there's nothing moving so he won't make it here, which also means he's on his own at Christmas, with just memories to keep him company...and they aren't exactly the best for him this year," Danny scrubbed a hand over his face.

Frank placed a hand on his sons shoulder, "What is it Danny? What's really bothering you?"

"He sounded so weary Dad..."

"Danny, he'd just landed from a long flight, after burying his ex fiancee, he's bound to be tired," he patiently reminded his oldest child.

"I know that Dad. I don't know, he just sounded different! Perhaps it's just me seeing things that aren't there," Danny dropped his head, "Geez, he's had a hard year."

"Yes he has, but he's got through it. He's growing Danny, hell he IS a grown man. He's got us...he's got you - you've been a great support to him this year, he told me that before he left."

Danny turned to watch the snow again, hoping that he might just catch a glimpse of his little brother - the perfect greeting card moment at Christmas.

Frank smiled as he squeezed his son's shoulder. He too had been disappointed that Jamie wasn't with them, but he was also glad that he had arrived back safely and that he wasn't putting himself at risk by trying to get to them. He also knew that his youngest would be with them as soon as he could get there, "We need to get ready for mass soon," he reminded his son.

Danny chuckled, "It's a good job that his congregation are within walking distance of the church or else Fr Thomas would have a very quiet mass tonight!"

Frank smiled as he nodded his agreement. He patted Danny's shoulder again as he turned to leave the room.

He was soon replaced, at Danny's side, by his wife and took a step towards the window and whistled softly, "Wow, it's really coming down! I don't think we're going anywhere tonight!"

"Nope, I've already sorted it with the boss. We're all stopping here tonight - hope you don't mind babe?" he turned to his wife, who smiled lovingly at her husband.

"Of course not hon, it'll be lovely, all the family under one roof," she looked towards her sister in law, who was nodding her agreement.

"Only we won't ALL be together will we..." Danny insisted as he downed the rest of his drink. Linda gazed at her husband, her forehead furrowing in concern. Erin, however, had mischief written all over her face, "Is my big brother pining for our little brother?" she asked, ruffling his hair.

Danny's, nothing phases him, game face quickly slid back into place, "What? No! I'm not pining" he insisted as he jumped to his feet, "I'll get the boys ready for church," he offered as he left the room rapidly.

"He's really missing him isn't he? I haven't seen him like this for a long time," Erin thought out loud.

Linda looked in the direction that Danny had just exited, "He's been really worried about Jamie while he's been in England. I think he wonders about how much more Jamie will have to cope with, especially after the year he's had."

"He's stronger than we all give him credit for," Erin commented.

Linda nodded her agreement and the two Reagan women left the room arm in arm to get ready for church.

As the organ quietly kept the Christmas carols coming, many families, including the Reagans, lingered to light candles in the memory of loved ones lost. After they had offered up their silent prayers, the Reagans began to make their way to the door, where Fr Thomas, as always was waiting to offer seasons greetings, "Lovely service Father," Frank complimented.

"Thank you Frank," Fr Thomas replied, shaking the taller mans hand, "You seem to be missing one tonight," the priest observed.

Frank let out a deep sigh, "Yes, Jamie, my youngest, flew back from England today but couldn't get any further than the airport today! We are hopeful that we will see him soon."

"I'm sorry to hear that Frank, I hope he makes it back to his family safe and sound. May God bless you and your family at this most blessed time Frank. Merry Christmas."

"Thank you Father, and a Merry Christmas to you also."

Erin, Nicki and Henry followed Frank, each one shaking hands with the priest as they carefully made their way down the slippery steps. Linda, Danny and the boys were the last of the family to leave. The boys quickly shook Fr Thomas's hand, desperate to get into the snow to throw snow balls at each other, even at 1 o'clock in the morning. Their parents chuckled as they took their turn in talking to the priest.

A few minutes later, the family were making their way, on foot, back to the inviting warmth of the house. Danny was walking with his arm around his wife, taking in the peace and stillness that a snowy landscape brings. Suddenly, without warning, something made him stop and turn round. Linda slid to a halt beside him, clutching at his sleeve to stop herself from falling, "Danny?" she questioned, unsure as to why her husband had stopped. By now, the rest of the family had also stopped in their tracks to see what had caught the attention of the eldest.

In the distance, only just visible through the curtain of snowflakes that were still falling, a figure could be seen trudging tiredly through the snow Danny took a step forward, "No, it can't be..." he breathed. He took another step forward, followed by Frank.

"Uncle Jamie!" Sean came streaking past them and launched himself at the figure, who had now got close enough for them all to see. Jamie caught the little boy in a massive hug, holding him tightly as he cheered. The rest of the family soon followed Sean, bombarding the weary man with hugs and questions. Eventually Jamie raided his hand to stop the questions, " I got into New York earlier as you know when I called you. When I landed we were told that there was no way that anyone was getting out of the city tonight. I found out that there were a few buses still running at that time, so I jumped on one but it only got me a couple of miles further. The driver said that he wouldn't be able to get anywhere after that so I got off and set off walking..."

"In this?" Erin cried, her arm still around her brother.

Jamie looked at her, exhaustion evident on his young face, "I couldn't miss Christmas Eve with you all...not after everything," his voice faded as Erin squeezed his shoulder.

"Is the church still open? I need to wish them Merry Christmas."

Everyone knew who he was referring to, "Yes son, Fr Thomas is keeping it open all night."

Jamie smiled tiredly at his father, "Thanks dad - I'll be home soon."

Frank and Henry proceeded to pick up Jamie's luggage, "Dad, Gramps, I'll get those..."

"Nonsense Jamie," Henry chastised, "We're only around the corner. You've been carrying this heavy load for long enough! They'll be hot chocolate waiting for you at home," his grandfather told him.

Jamie's expression changed to longing, "Sounds perfect, be there soon," he promised.

With that, the joyful family began to go their separate ways, "Dad are you crying?" Jack's voice suddenly filled the still night air.

**So what do you think? Any good? I was planning on one more chapter, full of brotherly love and with lots of (probably completely out of character) fluff! It is fan fic after all.**

**Should I carry on?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sooooo sorry for not updating. The last week or so has been pretty full on with Christmas shows, parties at school etc - I work in a school as well as my children being at school so its pretty busy!**

**Anyway enough with the excuses - I really hope I get this up before the big day. Thank you so much to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter, it really does mean a lot!**

**So here we are, just the two brothers...of course its going to be a bit angsty and mushy coz that's what I do!**

**Hope you like...**

Driving Home For Christmas...or Not - Chapter 2

At hearing Jack's startled question, Linda stood by her husbands side and gently wiped the tear away that Jack had noticed

"Danny?" Jamie questioned, having himself suddenly realised that his brother had been absent from the earlier group hug. Danny seemed frozen to the spot and Jamie felt a knot of concern form in his stomach - had he missed something?

Linda caught her husbands face in her bands and gave it a gentle kiss, "Go with him. We'll see you at home," she told him. Danny smiled at her as she ushered the puzzled boys away to follow the rest of the retreating family.

By this time, Jamie had taken a couple of steps towards his older brother, worried by Danny's lack of movement, "Danny, are you alright?"

The older man gazed at the younger man's exhausted features, then, without warning, he brought his little brother into a tight embrace, " I am now little brother," he whispered.

After a few moments, he brought Jamie out of the embrace, carefully inspecting his appearance, "You look exhausted!"

"That's coz I am," Jamie chuckled, "Walking for miles in the snow kind of does that to you! Mind you, its worth it just thinking about Grandpa's hot chocolate," his mouth already watering at the prospect of the creamy, chocolate hot drink.

"Come on then," Danny suggested as he slung his arm around the younger man's shoulders, "Do you mind if I tag along?"

Jamie looked at the older man, feeling a sudden rush of affection for his brother, who was obviously happy to have him home, "The more the merrier," he told him sincerely.

The two men made their way up the steps towards the inviting warmth of the church lights. They gently closed the door behind them, mindful of the few people dotted around the church, their heads bowed in prayer.

Danny took a seat in the front pew, while Jamie made his way to the bank of flickering candles, casting a halo of golden light above them, "Jamie, you made it!"

The young man turned to see a smiling Fr Thomas walking towards him with his hand outstretched. Jamie shook his hand, " Yes Fr...just. I didn't want to miss it, you know? Especially this year..."

Fr Thomas patted his shoulder, knowing full well what was running through the young man's mind, "Well, I'm glad you did. You're family will be pleased," the priest told him, nodding his head in Danny's direction. Jamie smiled happily.

"I will leave you to your thoughts," Fr Thomas told him as he made his way towards the oldest Reagan sibling.

Jamie lit a candle, as he always did, and placed it in the holder, "Merry Christmas Gran, Mum, Joe..." he whispered, his voice faltering once more at the mention of his brothers name. It still hurt to think about his Mum and Gran being gone, but they had both been in a lot of pain after being ill for a while, so Jamie could almost convince himself that they were better off, but with Joe, it still cut through him, like a knife, knowing that his brother was no longer around, taken far to soon.

He then lit another candle, placing it in a free holder, "Merry Christmas Vinny -it's not the same without you man..." he mumbled, smiling as the memories from last Christmas made themselves known. That had been the time, watching Vinny with the young people of the Bitterman estate, that Jamie had come to realise what a good man his cocky friend really was. Jamie swallowed hard, a lump forming in his throat that almost stopped his breathing. He made the sign of the cross, then made his way back to his brother, completely unaware that his brother and priest were watching him intently.

As Jamie sat down, his head hanging low so as not to show the emotion that was running through him, Fr Thomas laid a gentle hand on Danny's arm, causing the younger man to turn in his direction, concern for his brother clearly evident on his face, " You're a good brother Danny," he said quietly as he left the two brothers alone.

Danny felt at a loss. He'd never been any good at the emotional stuff - but one thing he DID know was that his brother was struggling more this year...after Vinny. He shuffled closer so that their legs were just touching, smiling fondly when he felt his brother lean into him a little.

Danny put a tentative arm around his shoulders, "It's harder this year, huh?" He stated rather than questioned.

Jamie looked up at him, a lone tear streaking down his face, "Yeah," he breathed, " I thought I was handling it you know? I'd just about got my head round what had happened to Vinny then Syd died," he choked out, his feelings about the loss of his ex fiancee still quite raw. Danny squeezed his brothers shoulder in support, "I mean, meningitis of all things..."

"Is that what it was? You basically took off so quickly that I didn't know what..."

"Dad didn't tell you?" Jamie looked surprised.

Danny shook his head, "I think he thought it was for you to tell..."

"Apparently, she'd been unwell for a week or so, but you know Syd, she was on a case, she just assumed it was because she was exhausted...it wasn't until she got a stiff neck that she thought something might be wrong...then came the rash..."

"I'm sorry Jamie," Danny offered.

"When will it get better Danny?"

At that moment,to Danny, Jamie sounded all of five years of age again, looking to his big brother for the answers, "I wish I could tell you Jamie," he wiped the tear away tenderly, "You know that if I could take this away for you I would...but I can't." He pulled his brother close again.

"I know Danny. It's just...it was hard enough losing Joe - God I miss him every day. Then I lost Vinny on the job...then Syd...I know we weren't together but it still hurt...there were a couple of times over the last few days where I thought that I couldn't go on Danny," he dropped his head, this time ashamed of what he was telling his brother.

"I know," Danny told him, "But you did - that's what matters. You feel this pain because you have a big heart Jamie, don't ever lose that -it's what makes you...you! And no matter what I say, especially when my mouth opens before my brain engages, I'm so, so proud of you, just like I know Joe is...and Vinny," he finished, pulling Jamie into another hug, placing a gentle kiss on his head, "I love you little brother," he whispered so quietly that Jamie almost didn't hear him.

As they pulled out of the hug, Jamie wiped his moist eyes, "Geez Danny, who are you and what have you done with my big brother?"

Danny smiled and ruffled his hair, "Wise ass!"

"Danny! In a church!" Jamie smiled.

The older brother rose to his feet, "You ready for some of Gramps's hot chocolate?"

Jamie followed suit, "If I can keep awake long enough...I think it's starting to catch up with me," he yawned widely.

Danny chuckled as he slung his arm around his brothers shoulders once more, "You sorry you battled through the snow to get to us?" he asked as they stepped back out into the peaceful crisp night air.

"Never!" Jamie insisted, "Merry Christmas Danny."

Danny stood at the top of the church steps, suddenly overwhelmed by a rush of love and affection for his brother that he hadn't felt this strongly for a long time, "God I'm glad you're here! Merry Christmas little brother!"

**So that's it. Was it to mushy? To out of character for them both? Come on...it is Christmas! If you can't get mushy at Christmas, when can you? Hope it was ok.**

**I probably won't get round to writing anything else this year so I would like to wish all my fellow fan fic writers/reviewers/Blue Bloods fans a VERY HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND A BLESSED 2014 XX**


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